How to be “cooler” when talking to people (esp guys?) I hate always being the friendly one.

I’m starting in college soon after being at a girl’s school for most of my life, so I am quite struggling this.

Since very early on in my life I’ve always been told to smile, to be friendly and approachable when talking to people, to be a “nice girl”. Whenever meeting new people I’m always the one that’s super friendly and trying to talk to people and ask them questions, etc, always feeling like I have to keep up the conversation to make people like me.

I think this is esp true for guys and idk why. I’m not even straight. Meanwhile there’s people that are just likable and cool without doing much of anything? Or trying at all?

And it’s not like I’m like this all the time, my personality is totally different with close friends.

I hate always coming out of conversations feeling like I wanted to talk to them more than they want to talk to me. How do I stop trying so hard? Maybe I just like barely have a personality. Does anyone struggle with this too?

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How to be “cooler” when talking to people (esp guys?) I hate always being the friendly one.